Cognitive Ability

It’s obvious when you’re pregnant that your body goes through drastic physical changes. What I didn’t know was the equally drastic mental changes that are occurring. We experienced this first hand yesterday.

I arranged to leave work yesterday in time to make it to our 3:30 doctor appointment. Kelly picked me up at my office and we rode together, parked, went up to Dr. Jackson's office and got there exactly at 3:30. We stepped up to the window to sign in.

There was no clipboard so Kelly asked the nurse, “Where’s the sign-in sheet?” The nurse looked as us a little funny and asked, “for who?” We said, “uh… Dr. Jackson?” “Dr. Jackson doesn’t see patients on Mondays. Isn’t your appointment tomorrow?” She asked, still looking confused. Now we’re all confused. Kelly says, “I thought it was today.” The nurse, already knowing the answer, looked it up on the calendar. “Nope. Tomorrow at 3:30.” “Alright, we’ll see you tomorrow.”

Kelly just got the days mixed up. We’ll try again today.

I’ve charted what I’ve observed so far with Kelly’s situation. On the Cognitive Index scale:

• 1.0 is normal
• 0.9 is forgetting phone numbers
• 0.8 is spilling drinks and bumping into things
• 0.7 is confusing dates

Notice the decline around week 13. Zero, by the way, is full retard.

...and as Robert Downey Jr. says in Tropic Thunder, "You never go full retard."